If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind
Liz Ditz recently left a comment on my post about testing. A little humor sometimes goes a long way to help me put frustrations at bay, at least momentarily. If you are not reading her blog, I Speak of Dreams, you’re missing out. Her comment needs to be enjoyed by others so in case you missed it:
Did you see NCLB–The Football Version?
Author Unknown
l. All teams must make the state playoffs, and all will win the championship. If a team does not win the championship, they will be on probation until they are the champions, and coaches will be held accountable.
2. All kids will be expected to have the same football skills at the same time and in the same conditions. No exceptions will be made for interest in football, a desire to perform athletically, or genetic abilities or disabilities. ALL KIDS WILL PLAY FOOTBALL AT A PROFICIENT LEVEL
3. Talented players will be asked to work out on their own without instruction. This is because the coaches will be using all their instructional time with the athletes who aren’t interested in football, have limited athletic ability, or whose parents don’t like football.
4. Games will be played year round, but statistics will only be kept in the 4th, 8th, and 11th games.
5. This will create a New Age of sports where every school is expected to have the same level of talent and all teams will reach the same minimal goals.
If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind.
December 4th, 2006 at 8:32 pm
[…] I couldn’t help, but to pass this on. From EduBlog Insights: Did you see NCLB–The Football Version? […]
December 4th, 2006 at 8:46 pm
The sad truth of your humor is that there are teachers who see nothing wrong with it.. These are college blindly-follow-whatever-doctrine-is-handed-down-from-above “educators†who actually feel that kids should all have the same education so as to minimize perceived social standings based on educational learning which may cause esteem problems among the less smart…I work with a few.
December 5th, 2006 at 9:45 am
[…] If no child gets ahead, then no child will be left behind: Did you see NCLB–The Football Version? […]
December 5th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
In our province of Saskatchewan, standardized testing is slowly emerging. What would teachers that teach in a system that is centered around standardized testing say to teachers that will soon be engrossed in it? Or what would they say to the politicians that seem to feel that they are behind the times of everyone else and need to start implacing standardized testing like everywhere else?
December 5th, 2006 at 8:02 pm
Do whatever you can to make sure that one test does not become the sole basis for evaluating students and teachers and schools. Check out this wiki for info to give to your politicians - http://obstacles.pbwiki.com
We are still building the resources - it is a work in progress but there is already much there that would help you build a case.
December 11th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
I enjoyed the “Football Version” of NCLB and passed it on to other staff.
In some school districts I have known the athletic department to receive money they have requested for things such as new uniforms and equipment while other curriculum departments requests are put on hold. Perhaps we should require athletic departments to have all of the same goals and leave no one behind and put more emphasis on academics.
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