EduBlog Insights

Hi, Lindsay! My name is Alexa and I am a senior at Hunterdon Central. I live in a small town in New Jersey called Ringoes. I have a younger sister named Amanda and a younger brother Andrew and also a fish. I enjoy swimming and am a member of the swim team at my school. I am the vice-president of Latin club, a part of interact club, and a member of National Honor Society and Latin Honor Society. I also like to draw, write, and read whenever I have free time. I work at a restaurant as a hostess and it’s a lot of fun. Hopefully next year I will be attending Boston University and majoring in management. I hope this helps you in knowing a little bit about myself and if you have any questions just ask.

I’m excited about helping you improve on your writing skills and teaching you a little more about the aspects of journalism. I was very impressed that you know and keep up with the recent news stories and are making valuable comments on them. If you ever have any questions or need help with a story you can email me at aprakopc@hcrhs.k12.nj.us  You can also check out my weblog if you want the site is http://weblogs.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/aprakopc/  Hope to hear from you soon!

[1] mailto:aprakopc@hcrhs.k12.nj.us

[2] http://weblogs.hcrhs.k12.nj.us/aprakopc/

March 5, 2003
Kelley

This is a good article I found about Mr. Rogers that I think you could use to model a news story about. It answers the who, what when, where, why, and how in the lead, and it uses a lot of different sources throughout the article. Here is the website: http://www.post-gazette.com/ae/20030302rogers7.asp
I hope you enjoy this article and I also hope it helps you out a little.
http://www.post-gazette.com/ae/20030302rogers7.asp

March 5, 2003
Alexa

This is a good story to look at. Notice how the lead grabs the readers attention and all of the sources are first introduced than quoted. There is also a lot of information and statistics also to back up the story which is really good. Also the introduction and conclusion somewhat tie the whole article together.

Here’s the link for the story: http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/05/nyregion/05FALL.html?pagewanted=2
Hope you enjoy the article!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2003/03/05/nyregion/05FALL.html?pagewanted=2

March 6, 2003
Lindsay

Hi Alexa and Kelley,

Now that I know something about you, here’s some information on me. Hello my name is Lindsay I’m a fifth grade student at J.H.House elementary. I live in Conyers Georgia(a small town about thirty minutes outside of Atlanta. I have a Mom a Dad and a brother who is a year older than me and very annoying. We have many pets such as two loving dogs, three horses, a rabbit, six chickens, two gold fish, and a barn cat. So basically I live on a farm with many responsibilities.

Thank you for giving me tips on journalism. I was overwhelmed with the thought that I have the privilege to have older journalists help me learn to become wonderful writer. I am amazed that I can learn from your experiences although I believe that we should take it one step at a time.

Well thanks for responding, Lindsa

March 13, 2002
Lindsay

This article puzzled me quite a bit but I’m up to the challenge any time. Well here it goes:
Who = Elderly

What = Fear of Falling

When =Recently

Where = Outside or Indoors

Why = throw rugs, wet floors, cracked sidewalks, ice, toys, steps, ladders, shoes, poor circulation, and lightheadedness.

Well thanks for the challenge, Lindsay G
March 13, 2002
Lindsay

We are doing lead-ins including who? what? when? where?, and sometimes why? Some may not be perfect but it’s our first try. …..

FREE GAS !!! A war with Iraq in 2003 with America as the victor gas could become very cheap.
Cold war has turned hot. North Korea has nuclear weapons that have range to reach the U.S. With the thought of war in 2003 or 2004 this could be a major threat.
The Big Bang in F.A. The United States tested the largest non-nuclear bomb ever created at Egland Air Force Base in Florida. It was so powerful it cracked people’s roof 20 miles away.
March 19, 2003
Kelley

Hey Lindsay!! How are you doing? Well we just looked at your Weblog, and we are so impressed with your work! It is so amazing that you are able to do all this stuff on the Internet already. I know that when I was your age, I barely even knew how to use a computer, and I did not even know what the Internet was or if it even existed! Your writing is so advanced for you age, and I think you are really turning into a great writer. It must be scary for you to have to do all this already, but I can guarantee that all of this stuff you≠re doing will really help you out a lot in the long run.
I am so excited to help you out with everything. Just remember if you have any questions that you would like answer, or if you want Alexa or me to look at some of your work, email us at the addresses we left for you on the last message. We would be happy to help you out with anything you need!
About the work I saw on your Weblog, you did a great job identifying the who, what, when, where, and why on the articles we sent you. You seem to really be up the challenges journalism presents to you (like Alexa≠s article), and you seem very willing to learn as much as you can about journalism.

I also read your news leads. They are very interesting and they really draw the reader into your story and make the reader want to read more. Good job! The only suggestion I would make to you is to try to condense your lead into one sentence. This makes it stronger because since it is shorter, people get interested much quicker. Other than that, you are off to a great start!
Keep up all of your good work. I am so proud of what you have done so far, and I can≠t wait to see some more of your work!

March 19, 2003
Alexa

Hi Lindsay! How are you? I just finished reading your recent post, it
was very impressive. Sorry for giving you a difficult article, but you
handled it well! When I was your age I definitely didn’t write as well
as you do. I’m sure you’re really scared about posting your work online
for anyone to see though. Don’t worry I’m a little apprehensive of doing
so also. When my journalism class began I had no idea that we would be
having weblogs that anyone could access and read, so I know how you must
be feeling!

I took a look at your news leads. They’re really great. I liked how
most of them are only a sentence long, which is the perfect length for
a news lead. Maybe in some you could make the lead a little more eye
catching though. But other than that I think you have a pretty good
grasp on writing news leads.

Overall I feel that you are doing an excellent job keeping up with your
weblog. I want you to know that you’re writing and knowledge of the
news is very advanced for your age. Keep up the good work!

March 19, 2003&
Alexa & Kelley

Lindsay,

Just so you know, we wrote our comments in bold and italics to explain to you what is going on in the article. If you have any questions, let us know and we’ll help you out! Enjoy the article!

Alexa and Kelley

Free Speech

From Time for Kids

Stephen Downs, 61, and his 31-year-old son, Roger, went shopping at a mall in Guilderland, New York last Monday. They got a lot more than they bargained for.

The two had T-shirts printed. Roger’s said, “No War withIraq.” His dad’s said, “Peace on Earth.” They put on the shirts over their other clothes. The antiwar messages caught the attention of a security guard, who asked the men to take off the shirts. They refused. The guard came back with a police officer, who asked them to remove the shirts or leave. Roger took his off, but his dad still said no.

“I said, ‘All right then, arrest me if you have to,’” Stephen Downs recalls. “So they did. They put the handcuffs on and took me away.” Two days later, about 100 protesters marched in the mall to support . A trespassing charge was dropped, but both men were upset.

“I think he’d like an apology,” Roger said of his father.

This lead paints a picture for the reader that shows two regular people who are against the war with Iraq. It sets up the rest of the article because gives a story that relates to the topic without giving away exactly what the story is about. It works because it draws the reader into the story, and it is also something many Americans can probably relate to easily. 

Americans treasure free speech and expression. Our right to share our ideas–by writing them in books, shouting them at a rally or ironing them onto T-shirts–is protected by the First Amendment. The amendment is one of 10 in the Bill of Rights, added to the Constitution in 1791. Lawmakers of the day passed the Bill of Rights because they believed that some key freedoms, including speech protection, should be part of the Constitution.

This is the nut graph. It goes right after the lead, and it tells the reader what the story is about. Just remember that the nut graph is very different than the lead because it is not a story like the lead is, but it tells what the rest of the article is about.

But First Amendment experts say that the right to speak freely comes with an unwritten requirement to act responsibly. “Many Americans have an overdeveloped sense of rights and an underdeveloped sense of responsibility,” says Sam Chaltain, coordinator of the First Amendment Schools project. “Our rights are spelled out in the First Amendment. But the amendment will work only if we guard the rights of those with whom we disagree.”

The green part is the set up for the quote. This is usually a sentence that will introduce what the quote will be about. The blue part is the actual quote. This includes who says the quote and it is very clear who this person is and what they do (”Sam Chaltain, coordinator of the First Amendment Schools project” in this example). This is a good quote because it talks about the first ammendment (which was introduced in the first sentence) and the quote also gives the person’s perspective on the topic.

With a possible war in  looming, emotions across the country are running high. Last Wednesday, tens of thousands of high school and college students all over America left their classrooms and staged large antiwar demonstrations. Other Americans feel just as strongly about expressing support for our leaders’ decisions. Those groups also held rallies and spoke out. When the two points of view clash, trouble can follow.

This paragraph leads into the next topic that the reader will see in the next paragraph.

Take Toni Smith, a basketball player for Manhattanville College in New YorkState. Because she objects to certain U.S. policies, she does not salute the flag as the national anthem is played before her games.

Some opposing teams’ fans began to boo Smith. They wore American flag pins and waved the flag to taunt her. On February 23, a Vietnam War veteran came onto the court and held a flag in front of her. He was thrown out of the arena–not for expressing his view but for disrupting the game.

This is another story that relates to the topic. It makes the point in order to show another aspect of the story.

“Toni Smith was being patriotic by doing what she felt she must,” Chaltain told TFK. “Every person who chose to stand and put a hand over his heart during the anthem was exercising the same freedom.”

This is another quote that supports what Toni Smith did. It gives a good opinion about rights and freedoms that everyone deserves.

The First Amendment is often amended itself. Court decisions have limited its freedoms to protect individuals’ privacy or national security, among other goals. But speaking out, whether in favor of the government’s policies or against them, is among the fundamental rights–and responsibilities–of every American. It is, in fact, at the very heart of our democracy.

This is the conclusion of the story. It gives an overview of the article and makes the final point of the article.

March 20, 2003
Lindsay

Mrs. Davis said I looked as pleased as punch. I’m very relieved that you feel that way about my writing. It is such a compliment for you to say that I am turning into a really good writer I can’t believe it . I am happy once again. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!. I wish I had time to say everything that i want to but I don’t have time today because we had testing this morning and did not have the oppurtunity to write. Once again thank you. &

THANKS,

Lindsay G.

P.S. THANKS :) :)

March 20, 2003
Lindsay

Mrs. Davis said I was smiling like a Cheshire Cat. Well I am. While you are using constructive critcism you are also telling me what I’m doing right. Now I feel much better about you personally helping me. I believe I will really enjoy having you help us. &

Thank you, 

Lindsay G

March 20, 2003
Lindsay

Iraq Showdown

What if the “dirty dog ” was telling the truth the whole time? We invade Iraq and don’t find any weapons of mass destruction or any Biological weapons. Who’s the terrorist now ????In case you don’t know Saddam with a long second a means “dirty dog” in Iraqian.

President Bush insists that Saddam has weapons of mass destruction and refuses to get rid of them. Saddam has said he’s already gotten rid of them.

Next step War with Iraq. The U.S. invades Iraq after extensive bombing raids. And after a massive ground assault. President Bush realizes that Saddam is not playing a “shell game” as President Bush. And is not just hiding weapons of mass destruction. He just doesn’t have them!

March 20
Lindsay

Hey it’s me again. I never got around to thanking you or did I ????Well thank you very much I still have not found any more information on Venezuela Shutdown. Well thanks. Please, please,please continue posting to my writing. Thanks, Lindsay G

March 20
Lindsay

Thank You, Thank You, This article really helped me. Now I know what each parts should be included. Hopefully this will help me with my assignments in the future. Thanks, Lindsay

March 20, 2003
Lindsay

This was very helpful.

Thanks,

Lindsay

March 26
Kelley

Kelley’s Feature Lead

First of all, I wanted to tell you where I am standing in the picture of my class. I am in the back row, so it is hard to see me, but I am behind the girls with the pink and purple tie-dyed shirt to the left, and to the back right of the boy with the red sweatshirt.

Here is a lead that I wrote for a feature story, which I highlighted in red. This may help you, although it is different than the news leads you have been writing. Feature leads do not have the “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” and “why,” but news leads do have these things. Notice that for a feature story, the story is not recent like news is. Also, feature leads start out with a story of someone doing something. The nut graph follows the lead, which I highlighted in blue. Tell me what you think about it, and if you have any questions about it or want help with your own, let me know!!

Kelley

Senior Tania Althoff wandered the halls of Hunterdon Central in search of the National Honors Society meeting that she was supposed to attend ten minutes earlier. She looked through each door hoping to see fellow NHS members participating in the meeting. When she saw a group of her friends, she asked, “Do you guys know where the NHS meeting is?” Her friends either have no idea when or where the next meeting will be, or they are not involved with the National Honors Society at all. Feeling frustrated, Althoff decides to skip the meeting, as she was unable to find where the meeting was held.

Althoff is a member of the National Honors Society, Vegetarian Club, and Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) among other clubs at Hunterdon Central. She notices that clubs and other activities are not always advertised at Central, and she often finds herself unsure of when or where club meetings are held.

“Posters are good,” Althoff says, “but I know not everyone watches the announcements,” she says. This causes students to have no idea when or where meetings are held.

Because of problems with advertising, unawareness, time constraints and student interests, school related activities like clubs and sports do not always get the recognition they deserve. With this in mind, students and teachers at Hunterdon Central have their own comments and suggestions regarding this dilemma.

March 26, 2003
Alexa

Alexa’s Feature Lead

Hi Lindsay! How are you? Kelley and I read your Iraq showdown and it was good. You are really coming along as a writer. Since I bet you≠re dying to know who I am in the class picture, I’m the one in the red shirt with the brown hair in the ponytail. I’m the girl on the right side behind the girl in the sweatshirt and behind the girl with the blond hair in the blue shirt. Here is my lead from my recent story, I just want to know your thoughts on it.

Beads of sweat had begun to form on Abby Forman≠s forehead while the five shopping bags dug into her hands and weighed her down. Her hair was in disarray as she squeezed through the crowds of people all wanting to get into Bloomingdale≠s for the big sale. Quickly passing the hair salon, Abby frantically thought, oh my gosh, I forgot to make a hair appointment. In an instant she had her cell phone out and was calling her favorite hair dresser and praying to God that there was an still an opening on such short notice.

For Abby Forman, a Hunterdon Central senior, and for many of her classmates, the senior ball can be not only a stressful time but also fun.

“There is so much that you have to buy; such as a dress, limo, tickets, make hair and nail appointments, finding a date and the list goes on forever,” stated Forman.

Even though the night of prom is lurking around the corner, Central seniors are still excited and are eagerly anticipating the event.

Many seniors are all hyped up about the big night scheduled to take place on May 30th at the Marriott in Whippany. Dances like these bring everyone together to have a good time according to Hunterdon Central senior and class council member, Meghan Flood.

Usually a features lead tells the reader story about someone doing something and is supposed to make the reader wonder what the story will be about. Can you guess what mine is about? However this lead is for a feature story when leads don≠t necessarily have to have a who, what, when, where, and why, opposed to news leads which do. Keep up the good work!

April 3, 2003
Lindsay

WOW what an amazing lead WOW I’m just blown out of the water.I love how descriptive it is. It was so great WOW GREAT JOB, Lindsay G

March 26, 2003
Alexa and Kelley

Hi Lindsay! This is Alexa and Kelley! We are ready to give you some feedback on your news item. You seem to be doing a great job so far!

First of all, we really like how you started out with questions. It draws in the reader and gives a good introduction to you story. The only thing to remember in news leads is to include the “who,” “what,” “when,” “where,” and “why.” This would strengthen your lead because it would give all of the facts to the story. We also like the “dirty dog” fact about the name Saddam. We did not know that his name meant “dirty dog.”

The last paragraph is very good because it gives all of the facts of the story. It could be considered the “nut graph.” Like we said before, if you move some of these facts up to the lead, this would strengthen it a little bit. You are really doing a great job so far though, and you seem to have you facts straight! Keep up your great work!

Kelley

March 27, 2003
Lindsay

A million thanks would not express my gratitude.Thank you for everything you have done this year. Thanks for always being there if I needed someone to help. Thanks for being there to bounce ideas off of. Thanks for explaining the parts of a writing and what they should include such as a nutgraph which should have detail that support the story and keep the readers attenion. Also hey which one are you in the picture? In our picture I’m middle row fourth from the left . I’m wearing a slightly cream colored shirt. Sorry I have a bad smile I’m in a very uncomfortable position.THANK YOU, Lindsay G.

March 27, 2003
Lindsay

Final Thanks

THANK YOU

I don’t want to say goodbye. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me I truly cannot tell you how thnkful I am THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, Alexa and Kelly I cannot tell you sad I am to say goodbye. If you feel like responding to me in your free time please do It would be great to hear from you again Well BYE :’(

BYE, LINDSAY G &

:’( :’( :’( :’( :’( :’(

April 2, 2003
Kelley

Bye Lindsay!

I am going to miss writing to you each week too!! It stinks that we did not get to write to each other longer, but I think we all learned a lot from doing this with you guys. I hope our advice was helpful, and I hope we gave you some useful feedback. I think you are a great writer, and you are going to get even better with all the hard work you are putting into your writing. Good luck with all of you future writing, and I will hopefully get on your web log by the end of the year and check out what you are doing. Keep up all of you hard work!!

April 2, 2003
Alexa