Dialogue That Makes a Difference
Today I’ve been busy creating some CDs for my NewsQuest team. This Friday I will be attending a Fifth Grade Banquet celebrating their successes of the year as we wish them a fond (but tearful) goodbye to middle school. As I’ve been pulling files for the CD, I’ve been re-reading some of the back and forth conversations between my kids and Will’s NJ mentors.
Thought I’d share one example with you….
Dane from Georgia writes two opening leads:
1. Attention! Attention! This is the last straw for the U.S. Time is wasting away for Iraq to destroy its weapons. Have you ever wondered the pressure our President is under at this point in time?
2. President Prevez Musharaff says he is prepared to use nuclear weapons if Indian forces had crossed into Pakistan earlier this year. I’m not sure what’s scarrier, having nuclear weapons or North Korea.
Amanda from New Jersey gives great feedback: (in blue)
1.Attention! Attention! (love this, it really pulls me in as the
reader) This is the last straw for the U.S. Time is wasting away for Iraq to destroy its weapons. Have you ever wondered the pressure our
President is under at this point in time? (I am really interested in
when that happened)
This lead really grabbed my attention, and it also made me wonder what it would be like to be in the President’s shoes. I like how you said
“Time is wasting away”…and it really is. Excellent lead!
2. Pakistan’s President Prevez Musharaff says he is prepared to use nuclear weapons if Indian forces had crossed into Pakistan earlier this year. I’m not sure what’s scarier, Pakistan having nuclear weapons or North Korea. (I think that if you added when, it would make it easily
understandable to the reader)
I don’t know which I would choose, I think that both are equally
scary.I really like how you pulled me in (you are good at that!). It kept my attention, and I was eager to read more.
Dane from Georgia will be carefully considering Amanda’s words.
Hi Amanda, thanks for responding! I’ll be sure to take your advice on my leads into consideration. Anyway, I’ve been working very hard lately in Mrs. Davis’s class and I’m learning alot. I’ve been corresponding with James and Jen. I hope to hear from you again soon.
That dialogue happened in the beginning of the project. It kept getting better… I think it’s so important for us to keep searching for ways to provide this kind of instructional dialogue between groups. I love it!
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